Hello Polite Readers!
It should come as no great surprise that a lot of the topics for this blog come from talking with my fellow artists and small business owners. When you are the face of your business and you're working through a difficult economy, you really want to impress clients with your professional, polite correspondences, but sometimes it's almost impossible to find the right wording.
Case in point: Sometimes you need to make it clear to a client that they're going to be the one to cover a certain extra expense related to what they're asking of you. There's many situations where this might arise. As a bellydancer, I might charge extra for a gig outside of town to cover my gas money. As a jewelry designer, I would have to charge more for a custom necklace if it was going to require more expensive materials than the similar one in my shop the client was inspired by.
There's a couple of important points to consider when informing your client about the cost of what they want. First, don't ask, state. Instead of saying "Will you be able to..." or "Can you..." you will say "Due to the fact that your party is 100 miles from my studio, I will have to add an extra $30 to my usual fee" or whatever. Also, don't make it about your budget. Never say "I can't afford" or "My finances won't allow." No matter how broke you actually might be, you always want to give the impression that you are a successful artist, and that this is simply your usual policy and that's just how things are in the art world. Your finances are none of your client's concern, they just need to know how much they should pay you.
One more thing to keep in mind: Charge more than what you need to. If you have to travel, it's not just your gas money, it's also time, wear and tear on your vehicle, and the inconvenience. If you have to order special materials, chances are your supplier has a minimum so you'll have to order other things, too, and you might only need 12 beads but they come in packages of 20, so you have to pay for and then find a use for those extra 8 beads. So don't hesitate to roll a little annoyance fee in to anything that forces you to work outside of your normal parameters. Far too often you'll find that these things take longer or cost more than you expected and you end up losing money (whether it's actual money, or loss of time you could have spent on other things you'd get paid for). Protect yourself!
Remember of course to be firm but polite as always. State only what you need to in order to explain to the client why this request will cost more than your standard work. Don't bog them down in details (ie, only say "I will be adding $50 for travel expenses" and not "Gas will cost $20 but there's also the fact that I should really get my spare tire replaced before I make a long drive..."). Also, get it out of the way early on in the conversation, don't spring it on them after they've already made a non-refundable deposit or otherwise committed to the deal. Unless they change the details on you, you're not allowed to change the cost on them.
Do you have an awkward situation you'd like help with? Send it to me at Politelyworded@gmail.com and you could be featured in a future column!
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
How to invite vendors to your event
Hello Polite Readers!
Well, if this keeps up I might be able to go back to weekly updates! This week's request comes courtesy of one of my Etsy friends who received a vague and possibly misleading event invitation. She handled it herself because she's a pro, but she also thought it would make a great topic for this blog. So first we'll briefly cover how to respond to unsolicited invites and then we'll talk about how to write an invitation that vendors will want to accept!
First of all, I feel a bit iffy about using Etsy to invite vendors to shows. I generally distrust such invites and think they're probably against Etsy's TOS. On the other hand it seems to be becoming a normal way to do things and some vendors do seem to appreciate being contacted directly by a show that they might not otherwise do well at. I have two methods of dealing with unwanted invites. If the show holds absolutely no interest for me, I ignore the message. If it's a show that I don't want to vend at but may want to attend, or if the invite comes from someone I might otherwise want to work with in the future, I send a polite "Thank you for the invite but I'm not interested at this time."
Now, event promoters, what can you do to make your invitation appealing?
1. Personalize the message. I don't want to think that you've sent the same message to every single Etsy seller in Tucson. I want to be greeted personally and I want to know why you're inviting me to vend at your event.
2. Provide pertinent details. I don't need to know everything about your event, but there are a few things I do want to know before I make a decision:
Where?
When?
What?
How do I get more information?
3. Be honest about the size and scope of your event. You may have big plans, but if it's your first year you're probably going to have to start small. Even if you're an established event, you might still be low-key. Please don't try to convince me that your local convention has almost as big of a draw as San Diego Comic Con.
4. Sell me on the event. Don't just say "It's going to be awesome!" Give me something specific to be excited about. For instance "This year our guest of honor is Matt Smith" or "Our art festival is a juried event that only allows handmade items."
5. Be professional. Use proper spelling, grammar, and punctuation. You can have a friendly tone and inject some personality into it, but you're still trying to do business with me so act like a pro.
6. Be realistic. I am not going to travel halfway across the country for a first-year convention. I am not going to spend $500 for a table at an art fair I've never heard of. If, for instance, you're inviting vendors to a small faerie festival, try to only invite people from your state and neighboring states. Don't send an invite to every single person who paints faeries, even if your event is in Canada and they live in Australia.
If I receive an invitation that fails to meet most of these criteria, I am not going to respond positively and I'm not going to think of recommending it to my fellow vendors or attending it for fun.
Have something you'd like to add? Share your thoughts in the comments section! Have a sticky situation of your own you'd like help with? Send it to Politelyworded@gmail.com and you could be featured in a future column.
Well, if this keeps up I might be able to go back to weekly updates! This week's request comes courtesy of one of my Etsy friends who received a vague and possibly misleading event invitation. She handled it herself because she's a pro, but she also thought it would make a great topic for this blog. So first we'll briefly cover how to respond to unsolicited invites and then we'll talk about how to write an invitation that vendors will want to accept!
First of all, I feel a bit iffy about using Etsy to invite vendors to shows. I generally distrust such invites and think they're probably against Etsy's TOS. On the other hand it seems to be becoming a normal way to do things and some vendors do seem to appreciate being contacted directly by a show that they might not otherwise do well at. I have two methods of dealing with unwanted invites. If the show holds absolutely no interest for me, I ignore the message. If it's a show that I don't want to vend at but may want to attend, or if the invite comes from someone I might otherwise want to work with in the future, I send a polite "Thank you for the invite but I'm not interested at this time."
Now, event promoters, what can you do to make your invitation appealing?
1. Personalize the message. I don't want to think that you've sent the same message to every single Etsy seller in Tucson. I want to be greeted personally and I want to know why you're inviting me to vend at your event.
2. Provide pertinent details. I don't need to know everything about your event, but there are a few things I do want to know before I make a decision:
Where?
When?
What?
How do I get more information?
3. Be honest about the size and scope of your event. You may have big plans, but if it's your first year you're probably going to have to start small. Even if you're an established event, you might still be low-key. Please don't try to convince me that your local convention has almost as big of a draw as San Diego Comic Con.
4. Sell me on the event. Don't just say "It's going to be awesome!" Give me something specific to be excited about. For instance "This year our guest of honor is Matt Smith" or "Our art festival is a juried event that only allows handmade items."
5. Be professional. Use proper spelling, grammar, and punctuation. You can have a friendly tone and inject some personality into it, but you're still trying to do business with me so act like a pro.
6. Be realistic. I am not going to travel halfway across the country for a first-year convention. I am not going to spend $500 for a table at an art fair I've never heard of. If, for instance, you're inviting vendors to a small faerie festival, try to only invite people from your state and neighboring states. Don't send an invite to every single person who paints faeries, even if your event is in Canada and they live in Australia.
If I receive an invitation that fails to meet most of these criteria, I am not going to respond positively and I'm not going to think of recommending it to my fellow vendors or attending it for fun.
Have something you'd like to add? Share your thoughts in the comments section! Have a sticky situation of your own you'd like help with? Send it to Politelyworded@gmail.com and you could be featured in a future column.
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Consider the Source
Hello Polite Readers!
We're going to talk about gift-receiving etiquette again. This week's topic comes courtesy of my husband, who was curious about my opinion on this and thought it would be good blog fodder. Thanks love! So the question is: What do you do when someone gives you a gift that you know comes from a shop you don't like? There's no one blanket answer for this, so let me break it down into a few examples of possible situations.
1. The item is offered to you casually, rather than as a hand-picked gift for your birthday or a holiday, ie, "I got a great deal on these at the store, would you like one?" In this case, you can gracefully say "Oh, no thank you" without getting into why.
2. The item was chosen specifically for you and is given at a group gathering, but comes from a store you have a mild objection to. Say "Thank you" and try not to think about the source. Perhaps make some use of it in order to make the gift-giver happy, then quietly donate it to the thrift shop a few months down the road.
3. As above, but the gift comes from someplace you have a strong objection to, like the gift store that donates all proceeds to Puppy Kickers International. As above, say thank you, but at some later date take the gift-giver aside and say "I know you picked that scarf because it brings out the green in my eyes, but were you aware that Kicks Ahoy is associated with PKI? You know that as a dog lover I just can't stand those guys. I hope you don't shop there anymore!" Again, donate the offending object and if you're feeling really bad, donate some money to a group that fights puppy kicking.
Remember that no matter what, it's the thought that counts. So if the person KNOWS that you hate PKI and they bought an "I Kick Puppies" t-shirt for you anyway, you don't even have to pretend. Fall back on the "Oh, you shouldn't have" and then throw that thing away as soon as you get home. Just don't make a scene at the party, because that's awkward for everyone else around you.
I think the best way to avoid this sort of situation is to be pretty clear about your opinions. If, for instance, you feel strongly about supporting the local economy and you love to patronize small coffee shops instead of large national chains, make that obvious. Occasionally check-in at your favorite local businesses. Talk about the delicious meal you had at that new restaurant. When you get complimented on your dress, mention that you purchased it at that cute downtown boutique. Share your political convictions, the causes that you care about, and your religious affiliations or lack thereof (all of this at whatever level you're most comfortable with). Of course you'll avoid being annoying or self-righteous about any of this, because you're so polite!
Once people have a pretty good read on you, it will be less likely that they'll give you a gift that you find morally objectionable. As a non-moralistic example, I love the color green. I make it clear by wearing lots of green, having a Pinterest board dedicated to green, using a green color scheme on my blogs, etc etc etc. As such, whenever people want to buy me a gift, they tend to buy something that is green if possible. There are even people who have certain shades that they now associate as "AJ Green" which makes me ridiculously pleased.
Dear readers, have you navigated this problem before? If so, how have you handled it?
I am waiting for YOUR letters. Write me at Politelyworded@gmail.com and you could be featured in my next column.
We're going to talk about gift-receiving etiquette again. This week's topic comes courtesy of my husband, who was curious about my opinion on this and thought it would be good blog fodder. Thanks love! So the question is: What do you do when someone gives you a gift that you know comes from a shop you don't like? There's no one blanket answer for this, so let me break it down into a few examples of possible situations.
1. The item is offered to you casually, rather than as a hand-picked gift for your birthday or a holiday, ie, "I got a great deal on these at the store, would you like one?" In this case, you can gracefully say "Oh, no thank you" without getting into why.
2. The item was chosen specifically for you and is given at a group gathering, but comes from a store you have a mild objection to. Say "Thank you" and try not to think about the source. Perhaps make some use of it in order to make the gift-giver happy, then quietly donate it to the thrift shop a few months down the road.
3. As above, but the gift comes from someplace you have a strong objection to, like the gift store that donates all proceeds to Puppy Kickers International. As above, say thank you, but at some later date take the gift-giver aside and say "I know you picked that scarf because it brings out the green in my eyes, but were you aware that Kicks Ahoy is associated with PKI? You know that as a dog lover I just can't stand those guys. I hope you don't shop there anymore!" Again, donate the offending object and if you're feeling really bad, donate some money to a group that fights puppy kicking.
Remember that no matter what, it's the thought that counts. So if the person KNOWS that you hate PKI and they bought an "I Kick Puppies" t-shirt for you anyway, you don't even have to pretend. Fall back on the "Oh, you shouldn't have" and then throw that thing away as soon as you get home. Just don't make a scene at the party, because that's awkward for everyone else around you.
I think the best way to avoid this sort of situation is to be pretty clear about your opinions. If, for instance, you feel strongly about supporting the local economy and you love to patronize small coffee shops instead of large national chains, make that obvious. Occasionally check-in at your favorite local businesses. Talk about the delicious meal you had at that new restaurant. When you get complimented on your dress, mention that you purchased it at that cute downtown boutique. Share your political convictions, the causes that you care about, and your religious affiliations or lack thereof (all of this at whatever level you're most comfortable with). Of course you'll avoid being annoying or self-righteous about any of this, because you're so polite!
Once people have a pretty good read on you, it will be less likely that they'll give you a gift that you find morally objectionable. As a non-moralistic example, I love the color green. I make it clear by wearing lots of green, having a Pinterest board dedicated to green, using a green color scheme on my blogs, etc etc etc. As such, whenever people want to buy me a gift, they tend to buy something that is green if possible. There are even people who have certain shades that they now associate as "AJ Green" which makes me ridiculously pleased.
Dear readers, have you navigated this problem before? If so, how have you handled it?
I am waiting for YOUR letters. Write me at Politelyworded@gmail.com and you could be featured in my next column.
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Lipstick Etiquette
Hello Polite Readers!
Today I am answering a letter about lipstick etiquette, which is slightly outside of the original concept of this blog, but there's a couple opportunities for polite wording, and besides, it's nice to get a letter! So let's get to it:
The more I have to do my makeup nicely to dance, the more I've explored my options and I've discovered that not all lipsticks are created equal. So the first step to avoiding a lipstick faux pas is to find one that you really like and are comfortable wearing. Look for something that isn't too sticky or goopy, doesn't tend to wander around your face, and doesn't dry your lips out. Using a conditioner or primer before you apply can help, and makeup setting spray might keep it from coming off. Of course it's expensive to buy a bunch of lipsticks to try, so I recommend going down to your favorite cosmetics store, getting some brand recommendations, and having them apply the one you like best and then you can wear it all day and see how it holds up before making a decision.
Personally I prefer to avoid actual lipstick and go with lip tar. It's my new obsession. Some people also like lip stains. Both of these products are less prone to transfering onto silverware, wine glasses and friends' cheeks. I've personally found that the one stain I've tried dries my lips out like crazy, but your mileage may very. Also, matte lipsticks can be more reliable than shiny ones. So there you go. If you go with an actual lipstick, blotting it after applying will help avoid as much transference onto the things around you.
Now to address each question:
1. Personally, I don't like to touch up my makeup at the dinner table, it feels a little gauche and unsanitary. I don't want food in my makeup or makeup in my food, and I think it sends a weird message to the people you're with, similar to playing with your phone. Do a quick compact-check and if you need a touch-up, excuse yourself.
2. Don't wipe it off before eating, it's so hard to just remove your lipstick without messing up the rest of your face, and if you're anything like me, you'll end up with weird bits of color stuck in little creases in your lip. If you're wearing a good product and you've blotted, you shouldn't have too much trouble with it coming off on silverware.
3. You probably won't leave marks on someone's face, but if you do, simply have a tissue or handkerchief (clean of course!) to dab it off with. Brush it off with a simple "So sorry, I left a mark!"
And a little Politely Worded tip? Watch out for your fellow ladies, especially dancers. If you see that someone has a smudge, or needs a touch-up, or has lipstick on her teeth, please take her aside and let her know! No one wants to go on stage with messy lipstick, or walk around a party with red teeth. It doesn't have to be a big deal, just a quiet "Oh, you might want to touch up your lips real quick." Saves everyone a lot of embarrassment!
If you have your own etiquette questions, please e-mail me at Politelyworded@gmail.com and you could be featured in a future column!
Today I am answering a letter about lipstick etiquette, which is slightly outside of the original concept of this blog, but there's a couple opportunities for polite wording, and besides, it's nice to get a letter! So let's get to it:
What is "lipstick etiquette"? I'm trying to wear lipstick more, but now I don't know what to do when it needs touch ups. Do I always excuse myself and find a ladies room or just pull out a compact? Do I wipe it off before eating or let it get on the silverware? Can I touch it up at the table? What if I try to fake-kiss a cheek but end up making contact and leaving a big lip-mark? Etc.So. The truth is that I really hate lipstick and if I hadn't become a dancer I probably never would have started to wear it. Early in my career, if I wasn't specifically told that I had to wear red lipstick, I would wear a sparkly gloss instead and even then I wouldn't put it on until right before I went on-stage, and in fact some times I would forget to put it on at all and go out with bare lips. Oh, the shame.
The more I have to do my makeup nicely to dance, the more I've explored my options and I've discovered that not all lipsticks are created equal. So the first step to avoiding a lipstick faux pas is to find one that you really like and are comfortable wearing. Look for something that isn't too sticky or goopy, doesn't tend to wander around your face, and doesn't dry your lips out. Using a conditioner or primer before you apply can help, and makeup setting spray might keep it from coming off. Of course it's expensive to buy a bunch of lipsticks to try, so I recommend going down to your favorite cosmetics store, getting some brand recommendations, and having them apply the one you like best and then you can wear it all day and see how it holds up before making a decision.
Personally I prefer to avoid actual lipstick and go with lip tar. It's my new obsession. Some people also like lip stains. Both of these products are less prone to transfering onto silverware, wine glasses and friends' cheeks. I've personally found that the one stain I've tried dries my lips out like crazy, but your mileage may very. Also, matte lipsticks can be more reliable than shiny ones. So there you go. If you go with an actual lipstick, blotting it after applying will help avoid as much transference onto the things around you.
Now to address each question:
1. Personally, I don't like to touch up my makeup at the dinner table, it feels a little gauche and unsanitary. I don't want food in my makeup or makeup in my food, and I think it sends a weird message to the people you're with, similar to playing with your phone. Do a quick compact-check and if you need a touch-up, excuse yourself.
2. Don't wipe it off before eating, it's so hard to just remove your lipstick without messing up the rest of your face, and if you're anything like me, you'll end up with weird bits of color stuck in little creases in your lip. If you're wearing a good product and you've blotted, you shouldn't have too much trouble with it coming off on silverware.
3. You probably won't leave marks on someone's face, but if you do, simply have a tissue or handkerchief (clean of course!) to dab it off with. Brush it off with a simple "So sorry, I left a mark!"
And a little Politely Worded tip? Watch out for your fellow ladies, especially dancers. If you see that someone has a smudge, or needs a touch-up, or has lipstick on her teeth, please take her aside and let her know! No one wants to go on stage with messy lipstick, or walk around a party with red teeth. It doesn't have to be a big deal, just a quiet "Oh, you might want to touch up your lips real quick." Saves everyone a lot of embarrassment!
If you have your own etiquette questions, please e-mail me at Politelyworded@gmail.com and you could be featured in a future column!
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Sporadic Updates
Hello Polite Readers!
For the foreseeable future, I will only be updating this blog when I actually have received letters or topic requests. I would like to keep things up and running, so if you have something you'd like to see me write about, please either leave a comment on this post or write to me at Politelyworded@gmail.com. I hope to hear from you soon!
Sincerely,
-AJ
For the foreseeable future, I will only be updating this blog when I actually have received letters or topic requests. I would like to keep things up and running, so if you have something you'd like to see me write about, please either leave a comment on this post or write to me at Politelyworded@gmail.com. I hope to hear from you soon!
Sincerely,
-AJ
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Cover-ups and Intros
Hello Polite Readers!
Yes, we're still talking about dance, but this week it's dealing with dancers rather than audience members. The amazing Miz Becka Bomb, emcee extraordinaire, best audience member ever and dedicated ATS dancer has asked me to share some words about cover-ups and intros (I'll be writing separate blogs on both these topics with advice for dancers on my dance blog. Check the links at the bottom of this post).
First, let's talk about how to get your dancers to wear their cover-ups! For those of you who aren't in the bellydance community, it's considered proper etiquette to wear something over your costume when you're not on stage, so as not to distract from the dancers who are currently performing. Sometimes a dancer forgets to cover up, or hasn't been told this etiquette rule, or thinks she can skip it this one time because it's so hot in the studio. What's an event organizer or stage manager to do?
Try to nip that bad behavior in the bud. When you send out your pre-show e-mail with all of those important details, say something like "I know you're all going to watch the rest of the show! We'll have some seats saved in the back row so you can slip in and out easily. Make sure to bring your cover-up so your sparkles won't be a distraction!"
On the day of the show, you may want to have a couple of extra (opaque) veils or sarongs on hand for those performers who forgot their cover-up. It's happened to all of us at least once, I'm sure, you have to repack your dance-bag last minute and you accidentally leave that cover-up out, or you go to pack it and realize it has a huge stain from your last show, when that waiter tripped and spilled baba ganoush all down your back.
If you know that a certain dancer has a reputation for not bothering to cover-up, you may need to either keep an eye out, or task a helper with watching, so that when she goes and sits down in the middle of the audience in all her spangled glory, you can tap her on the shoulder and say "Oh honey, you forgot to cover up! Do you need a spare?" (Snarky AJ suggests that you make sure she gets the ugliest of the back-up cover-ups.)
Now, what about intros? It's weird, you'd think dancers would have an easy time talking about themselves, but sometimes getting an intro can be like pulling teeth. I've witnessed a lot of performers writing their intro hastily in the dressing room, on a Kleenex with an eyeliner pencil (ok, I exaggerate, only a little). I've also seen them tell the emcee to just "make something up." Hey, the emcee has enough work to do keeping the crowd entertained, they don't also need to try to come up with some fun facts about you.
And then there's the opposite problem, the dancer who copy and pastes their two page long bio from their website. Look. No one wants to read that on stage. No one wants to sit through that. Your intro should not rival your performance in length. And it makes for a truly awful YouTube viewing experience. People have short attention spans and will click through to the next video when they get bored.
So, when you send out that pre-show e-mail, give your performers some guidelines. Say "When you send me your music, please also include a brief (no more than three sentences) intro for your piece. Don't forget to include your name and your website so the audience can find you later!" When someone inevitably sends their music sans intro, respond back with a reminder! If they still don't send you one after that, then they are going to have to live with "Please welcome to the stage Oven Mitts in Space!"
What about the dancer who sends her entire CV? Respond back with "Oh, I'm sorry, I really need this to be only three sentences long. We've got to keep the intros brief so the show doesn't run late! Please get back to me with a shortened version." If she doesn't, do your own quick edit. "Lady Sparklepants dances and teaches in Walla Walla. She is also the director of Oven Mitts in Space. You can learn more about her at www dot sparkliest pants dot com."
If you know you've got some newbie dancers in your show who might not have any experience writing their own intro and are probably super-nervous about it, you may want to include a short example bio in your e-mail, or a link to a handy article on writing one.
Dancers, if you want help with cover ups and intros, here's the applicable blog posts:
Wear Your Cover-Ups
-and-
On Writing a Good Intro
Do you have a question, or a problem you'd like to see addressed? Send it to me at Politelyworded@gmail.com and you could be featured in an upcoming column!
Yes, we're still talking about dance, but this week it's dealing with dancers rather than audience members. The amazing Miz Becka Bomb, emcee extraordinaire, best audience member ever and dedicated ATS dancer has asked me to share some words about cover-ups and intros (I'll be writing separate blogs on both these topics with advice for dancers on my dance blog. Check the links at the bottom of this post).
First, let's talk about how to get your dancers to wear their cover-ups! For those of you who aren't in the bellydance community, it's considered proper etiquette to wear something over your costume when you're not on stage, so as not to distract from the dancers who are currently performing. Sometimes a dancer forgets to cover up, or hasn't been told this etiquette rule, or thinks she can skip it this one time because it's so hot in the studio. What's an event organizer or stage manager to do?
Try to nip that bad behavior in the bud. When you send out your pre-show e-mail with all of those important details, say something like "I know you're all going to watch the rest of the show! We'll have some seats saved in the back row so you can slip in and out easily. Make sure to bring your cover-up so your sparkles won't be a distraction!"
On the day of the show, you may want to have a couple of extra (opaque) veils or sarongs on hand for those performers who forgot their cover-up. It's happened to all of us at least once, I'm sure, you have to repack your dance-bag last minute and you accidentally leave that cover-up out, or you go to pack it and realize it has a huge stain from your last show, when that waiter tripped and spilled baba ganoush all down your back.
If you know that a certain dancer has a reputation for not bothering to cover-up, you may need to either keep an eye out, or task a helper with watching, so that when she goes and sits down in the middle of the audience in all her spangled glory, you can tap her on the shoulder and say "Oh honey, you forgot to cover up! Do you need a spare?" (Snarky AJ suggests that you make sure she gets the ugliest of the back-up cover-ups.)
Now, what about intros? It's weird, you'd think dancers would have an easy time talking about themselves, but sometimes getting an intro can be like pulling teeth. I've witnessed a lot of performers writing their intro hastily in the dressing room, on a Kleenex with an eyeliner pencil (ok, I exaggerate, only a little). I've also seen them tell the emcee to just "make something up." Hey, the emcee has enough work to do keeping the crowd entertained, they don't also need to try to come up with some fun facts about you.
And then there's the opposite problem, the dancer who copy and pastes their two page long bio from their website. Look. No one wants to read that on stage. No one wants to sit through that. Your intro should not rival your performance in length. And it makes for a truly awful YouTube viewing experience. People have short attention spans and will click through to the next video when they get bored.
So, when you send out that pre-show e-mail, give your performers some guidelines. Say "When you send me your music, please also include a brief (no more than three sentences) intro for your piece. Don't forget to include your name and your website so the audience can find you later!" When someone inevitably sends their music sans intro, respond back with a reminder! If they still don't send you one after that, then they are going to have to live with "Please welcome to the stage Oven Mitts in Space!"
What about the dancer who sends her entire CV? Respond back with "Oh, I'm sorry, I really need this to be only three sentences long. We've got to keep the intros brief so the show doesn't run late! Please get back to me with a shortened version." If she doesn't, do your own quick edit. "Lady Sparklepants dances and teaches in Walla Walla. She is also the director of Oven Mitts in Space. You can learn more about her at www dot sparkliest pants dot com."
If you know you've got some newbie dancers in your show who might not have any experience writing their own intro and are probably super-nervous about it, you may want to include a short example bio in your e-mail, or a link to a handy article on writing one.
Dancers, if you want help with cover ups and intros, here's the applicable blog posts:
Wear Your Cover-Ups
-and-
On Writing a Good Intro
Do you have a question, or a problem you'd like to see addressed? Send it to me at Politelyworded@gmail.com and you could be featured in an upcoming column!
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Theater and Live Performance Etiquette
Hello Polite Readers!
Earlier this month I had the pleasure of attending a large dance festival and watching a whole lot of bellydance. It was a wonderful time, but it was slightly tainted by the horrible behavior of some of my fellow audience members. And I've noticed a lot of bad behavior at the movie theater and other entertainment venues. So this week I'd like to address some of the things I've seen, and the best polite way to point them out to the offenders.
1. Taking up more than your fair share of space. My main annoyance at the show was a man who was sitting directly in front of me. He kept stretching his legs forward, pushing his seat back and leaning back, sprawling in all directions. Eventually his chair was shoved against my knees and his head was well inside my bubble of personal space. Similar problems I've previously experienced have been people who lean way over a shared arm rest, or people who are taking up an extra seat with their belongings.
Solution: "Excuse me, could you please scoot your seat forward/move your bags/give me a little space?" I did ask this of another person at the show who pushed her chair back into my knees and she politely obliged.
2. Carrying on a conversation during a performance. So rude and distracting, and think of how badly it's going to reflect on you if someone catches it on their video, or if loved ones of the performers are nearby and can see/hear that you care so little about what's on stage or screen that you're talking through it. If you're not interested in a performance, take that time to go stretch your legs.
Solution: I actually usually don't address people like this because I feel like it will make more of a distraction. But if they're getting really loud, you can say "Excuse me, could you talk a little more quietly? I'm really enjoying this piece."
3. Making a mess. Ugh. One reason why I don't go to the movies very often anymore is I can't stand to see popcorn and soda spilled everywhere. It's disgusting how much trash people leave behind! Likewise, at the live show I was at, many people left their food and drink refuse under their chairs rather than taking it with them when they left, leaving the people who were there at the end of the night to clean up after them.
Solution: Smile sweetly and say "Oh, don't forget to take your plate to the trash!"
4. Moving around during the show. Obviously if there's no break during the show and you have to get up for some reason during the performance, there's not much you can do. But in a variety show with an emcee announcing each act, is it really so hard to wait 5 minutes for the next chance to get up? I got really tired of having to stand up and let people in and out of the aisle during really amazing performances.
Solution: Not much you can do when they're looming over you, sadly.
5. Blocking everyone else's view of the show with your camera/phone/tablet. Ok, look. One of two things is true in this situation: either video and photos are not allowed, so you shouldn't be taking them, or video and photos are allowed, so pros will be doing a much better job of it than you are. Want to snap a quick picture of your favorite performer as she takes the stage? Go for it. A lot of dance performances start out with a beautiful walk or pose to make it easy for you. But don't hold up your unholy phone-tablet hybrid (about the size of a paperback book, for pity's sake) and film the entire performance. Or several performances in a row. When the only way I can see what is going on on stage is through the screen on your device, something is wrong.
Solution: I actually saw some ladies a few seats down from me take action. They started tapping people on the shoulder and saying "Please put that down, you're blocking everyone's view" and things along those lines. I wanted to high-five them so hard.
Don't forget that in some situations, you may be able to enlist an usher or other employee to help you deal with especially offensive people. I generally think it's best to try to handle it yourself first, but if your polite entreaties don't work, or if you feel like the person in question is not just offensive but possibly unbalanced and dangerous, don't be afraid to get help. Remember that whatever event you are at, you probably paid money to be there and you deserve to enjoy the show. Don't let the boors of the world take that away from you!
Do you have a question for me? Please send it to Politelyworded@gmail.com and you could be featured in a future column!
Earlier this month I had the pleasure of attending a large dance festival and watching a whole lot of bellydance. It was a wonderful time, but it was slightly tainted by the horrible behavior of some of my fellow audience members. And I've noticed a lot of bad behavior at the movie theater and other entertainment venues. So this week I'd like to address some of the things I've seen, and the best polite way to point them out to the offenders.
1. Taking up more than your fair share of space. My main annoyance at the show was a man who was sitting directly in front of me. He kept stretching his legs forward, pushing his seat back and leaning back, sprawling in all directions. Eventually his chair was shoved against my knees and his head was well inside my bubble of personal space. Similar problems I've previously experienced have been people who lean way over a shared arm rest, or people who are taking up an extra seat with their belongings.
Solution: "Excuse me, could you please scoot your seat forward/move your bags/give me a little space?" I did ask this of another person at the show who pushed her chair back into my knees and she politely obliged.
2. Carrying on a conversation during a performance. So rude and distracting, and think of how badly it's going to reflect on you if someone catches it on their video, or if loved ones of the performers are nearby and can see/hear that you care so little about what's on stage or screen that you're talking through it. If you're not interested in a performance, take that time to go stretch your legs.
Solution: I actually usually don't address people like this because I feel like it will make more of a distraction. But if they're getting really loud, you can say "Excuse me, could you talk a little more quietly? I'm really enjoying this piece."
3. Making a mess. Ugh. One reason why I don't go to the movies very often anymore is I can't stand to see popcorn and soda spilled everywhere. It's disgusting how much trash people leave behind! Likewise, at the live show I was at, many people left their food and drink refuse under their chairs rather than taking it with them when they left, leaving the people who were there at the end of the night to clean up after them.
Solution: Smile sweetly and say "Oh, don't forget to take your plate to the trash!"
4. Moving around during the show. Obviously if there's no break during the show and you have to get up for some reason during the performance, there's not much you can do. But in a variety show with an emcee announcing each act, is it really so hard to wait 5 minutes for the next chance to get up? I got really tired of having to stand up and let people in and out of the aisle during really amazing performances.
Solution: Not much you can do when they're looming over you, sadly.
5. Blocking everyone else's view of the show with your camera/phone/tablet. Ok, look. One of two things is true in this situation: either video and photos are not allowed, so you shouldn't be taking them, or video and photos are allowed, so pros will be doing a much better job of it than you are. Want to snap a quick picture of your favorite performer as she takes the stage? Go for it. A lot of dance performances start out with a beautiful walk or pose to make it easy for you. But don't hold up your unholy phone-tablet hybrid (about the size of a paperback book, for pity's sake) and film the entire performance. Or several performances in a row. When the only way I can see what is going on on stage is through the screen on your device, something is wrong.
Solution: I actually saw some ladies a few seats down from me take action. They started tapping people on the shoulder and saying "Please put that down, you're blocking everyone's view" and things along those lines. I wanted to high-five them so hard.
Don't forget that in some situations, you may be able to enlist an usher or other employee to help you deal with especially offensive people. I generally think it's best to try to handle it yourself first, but if your polite entreaties don't work, or if you feel like the person in question is not just offensive but possibly unbalanced and dangerous, don't be afraid to get help. Remember that whatever event you are at, you probably paid money to be there and you deserve to enjoy the show. Don't let the boors of the world take that away from you!
Do you have a question for me? Please send it to Politelyworded@gmail.com and you could be featured in a future column!
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